Thursday, November 29, 2007
想爱,不如相知
想爱,不如相知... is what I feel not only for me, but for other 2 persons out there as well... Anyways, last night there was a night market at Victoria Market. At first, I din wanna go, cos the things there are quite expensive. Well, in the end, all my frens are going, so I tagged along in the end heh heh. Hrm.. I tink I spent lets see.. $8.80+$5+$10 = $23.80.. omg... just for food that isnt really enough to make u full. Well, just went for the experience anyway. I bought honey dumplings which were kinda of special to take away, as I had to leave early to make a phone call to my fren. In case you duno wat a honey dumpling is, it is a small donut (not those donut-shaped like, but dumpling shape like here) coated with honey and sesame seeds. Well of course you could coat it with chocolate, but chocolate is not really my thing. Seriously, I duno how you gals like chocolate so much... the other day I had desert with my frens... the chocolate coating on my black forest cake was really thick... making me not wanting to eat chocolate for the whole week man.
At home, well I passed her some of the honey dumplings to try while I was making a phone call. Later, I realised she din have her dinner yet and saw her cook maggi mee. Then online, Jas was telling me her trip to Ipoh and talk about the food there... made me even more hungry only... in the end I also had maggi mee cooked by her.. the maggi mee was really nice! At first I thought wow this brand of instant noodles is really good and that I should buy more nxt time, but only to realised she added extra seasonings. Anyway, I have to put on some weight before my mum comes >_<
我们都不是要亲自经历过，才能真的明白。要曾经拿起、拥有，才有资格放下。真正爱一个人必定以她的幸福当作是你的幸福。若然有人能比你给予她更大的幸福你就把她送到那里去。
Xiaoyuer @ 11/29/2007 08:27:00 PM.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Start anew?Though I have just broken up with her recently, I still feel sad at times. To start anew is hard for me, after all... memories are there... I wish I didnt have such good memory for those memories heh...
I ask God sometimes why did this have to happen? However, I do believe everything happens for a reason, and that God place certain ppl in our lives for a reason. We may not see the reason now, but we may see it in the near future. For now, I do not wish to create any more memories with her, not bcos I'm unhappy with her or anything... I do not blame her, but it is just too painful for me. I'm learning to let go now, and I hope to eventually forget about her. Maybe I might eventually forget about her, but if one day I do see her again... I may remember the painful things again.. and I really do not wish for that to happen. I pray to God that he will heal my broken-heart in time, and I believe that He heals.
I wish her all the best, and I'm thankful that she was part of my life as it made me realised what true love was and how it felt. Though as much as I wished that she would be part of the rest of my life, it didn't happen... and now I just want her to be happy.
Through all these, I've learnt a lot of things, and I'm really thankful to all of you out there for your care and concern.. you know who u are... *hugz* Thanks for those who lent their "virtual shoulders".. heh heh... don't worry abt me... I'm picking up but having a slow start for now...
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
Psalm 147:3
Xiaoyuer @ 11/26/2007 08:24:00 PM.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
The wait is over... The wait is over for me... she's gotten a new bf, and I had to find that out for myself. Well, I was quite upset in the sense that she kept it from me, and also shocked to know that its only so short after the break up did she get a new bf. However, I did feel relieved in the sense that I know that there was no need to wait for her anymore, and that I can move on with my life. As much as I love her, there's only so much I can do for her. Now, I can only wish her all the best, and hope she does well.
Xiaoyuer @ 11/25/2007 01:13:00 AM.
Friday, November 23, 2007
I really duno wat to doShe's out again. At first, she wasnt goin to go out, but I made her upset n she went out again. I really hate myself for that. The reason I made her upset was not on purpose, but I was really upset cos she has not been home for 3 nights. I really do not know what she is up to.
I'm really doing my best... i din ask her for anything or make her feel pressured. Yet, it seems that she's avoiding me. Maybe she has her own reasons, but it really hurts me a lot. She said that its hard being the bad guy, but there's always a choice... and why does she have to choose that choice? I din ask anything from her... I only silently wait for her, thats all i can do for now. You cant stop someone from loving you. Why... i keep asking myself why, but I do not know the answer. Am I really such a lousy boyfriend that the gal I love avoids me. Am I really that scary? No matter how cold she is to me, I would still want to wait for her. Maybe she cant wait for January to come where she need not see me for a long time. To me, I'm really afraid of that day to come. I wish that none of these would happened. I'm such a failure.
Xiaoyuer @ 11/23/2007 02:14:00 AM.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Life is like a glass, it is fragile and shatters... All these while, I thought to myself that I could do it, but actually it was harder than expected. Trying to concentrate on my work is really a challenge for me. Till now, I duno how much tears I have shed for her... if only she knew, but dun tink she will. I thought that I could start again, and I'm doing my best to make her happy. I once loved, still love and will love a gal so much, that I'm willing to do anything for her. I realised that I did not cherish her much back then, but now I've realised too that she is the gal whom I want to be with for the rest of my life. Ironic isn't it? If only I could turn back time, I would prevent all these bad things from happening. However, that's not possible, thus I'm doing what I can now. Yet, it hurts a lot from the things she does and say. Maybe she does not realised it, and its not her fault, but mine alone for I love her so much. Even though it hurts so much, I will still try. I feel happy even just to see her now and then. Sometimes, I just look at her from the back without her knowing. I know that some ppl may think that I'm stupid or foolish to continue to wait for a gal whom you do not even know if she still loves you. But, I believe that sometimes fate can only bring us this far... the rest is up to us, and I too want to fight for my happiness, and also to give her happiness. I'm lost at times, and can only just cry silently in my room... if only all these were just a nightmare...
Xiaoyuer @ 11/22/2007 02:02:00 AM.
